How to Talk So Your Child Will Listen

Have you ever found yourself repeating the same instructions to your child only to be met with silence, eye rolls, or outright defiance? You’re not alone. Many parents struggle with getting through to their kids, and it often feels like no matter what you say, it just doesn’t stick.

But what if the problem isn’t what you’re saying but how you’re saying it?

Communication with children isn’t just about giving orders or reminders. It’s about connection. When your words build trust and understanding, your child is more likely to listen and even open up about what’s really on their mind.

Why Does It Feel Like They’re Not Listening?

Kids, especially as they grow, are learning to assert independence. They test boundaries, explore emotions, and figure out how to communicate their needs. Sometimes, they shut down because they feel unheard or misunderstood.

What many parents don’t realize is that traditional “parent talk” like commands, warnings, or guilt trips can actually create walls instead of bridges.

Here are a few surprising yet simple strategies that can transform your everyday conversations:

Start With Empathy - Before jumping to correct or instruct, try to understand what your child might be feeling. Acknowledge it out loud, “I see you’re upset because…” This shows you care about their emotions, not just their behaviour.

Use “I” Statements - Instead of “You never listen,” try “I feel worried when you don’t tell me where you are.” It reduces blame and opens the door for dialogue.

Ask Open-Ended Questions - Instead of yes/no questions, ask things like “What was the best part of your day?” or “How did that make you feel?” This encourages your child to express themselves freely.

Offer Choices - Giving children some control helps them feel respected and more willing to cooperate. For example, “Would you like to do your homework before or after dinner?”

Model Calmness - Your tone and body language speak volumes. When you stay calm, your child feels safer to listen and respond calmly.

What If It Still Feels Hard?

Parenting can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re unsure if you’re doing it “right.” But help is available.

We offer resources and parenting programs designed to equip you with the skills to communicate effectively and deepen your bond with your child.

Check our IG page (@familyhouseafrica) for our upcoming workshops on effective parenting communication.