How to Parent and Connect With Your Growing Teen

“Mummy, I’m not a baby!”

You’ve heard it so many times, right?

In fact, if you had $50 for every time your child said it, you could probably go to the bank and cash out enough to start a company.

But the thing is, they’re not lying.

Your child is growing, and as hard as it is to admit it sometimes, they’re changing right before your eyes.

One minute they’re asking you to help tie their shoelaces, next thing they’re locking their door and saying, “Please knock before you come in.”

You’re wondering, “Did I give birth to this one?”😅

But this is what growing up looks like.

Teenagers are not just getting taller, they’re forming their own minds, ideas, and sense of identity. They want to be seen, heard, and respected. And when they say “I’m not a baby”, what they really mean is:

“I want to make a few choices for myself.”

“Let me try even if I don’t get it perfect.”

“Please talk to me, not at me.”

And as parents, the challenge is learning how to still guide them with love while letting them stretch their wings.

So, How Can We Respect Their Growing Voice Without Losing Ours?

Here are a few things that have helped other parents like you:

1. Give options, not ultimatums

Instead of “Wash those plates now!” try “Do you want to wash plates now or after you rest for 30 minutes?”

2. Listen with full attention

Put the phone down. Turn to face them. Even if they’re chatting nonsense, just listen. It matters.

3. Let them fail small-small

If they want to fry plantain and end up with charcoal, resist the urge to shout “Did I not warn you?!” Just laugh it off and help them try again.

4. Respect their space

Knock before you enter. Don’t always barge in with “This is my house!” It shows you trust them and they’ll trust you back.

5. Talk to them like they’re becoming adults

No more baby talk. Use full sentences. Add “please” and “thank you.” It may feel small, but it softens the atmosphere and builds mutual respect.

We know this stage can feel like walking on eggshells. One wrong word and your teen is upset. You’re trying to love them, raise them, and not lose your mind in the process. 😅

We’re here to walk with you.

We offer courses that will equip you with the tools to understand their brain, personality type, attachment style, and strategy to work with them so they can feel at ease with you. Check familyhouseafrica.com/africanparenting to access one of such courses

Again, your teen is not being difficult for sport, they’re just becoming who they’re meant to be and beneath that eye-roll and “whatever” is a young person who still needs you just in a different way.
So next time you hear, “Mummy, I’m not a baby!”, smile. You’re raising someone who wants to be seen.